Why am I hardly doing anything at all?
Why do everything have to be so perfect all the time?
It's sort of like I discovered that there were so many talented people out there, and that I was never going to get anything perfect, so why even try.
I'm not the person to make new year's resolutions. According to me I can change things any day if I want to. It's not like January 1st has some magical power that makes the change "better" or more "permanent". It's just a date like all the other 364 days of the year.
However... After spending the entire last week watching a lot of youtube-videos and vlogs and blogs and so on, I suddenly decided that I simply can not sit and watch everyone else be productive and creative while I do nothing. Because I really do want to make things, but like I said I want them to be perfect at first try.
But I'm not the only one bothered by this very problem...
Most notably this was communicated by the very famous Charlie McDonnell (charlieissocoollike)
And also by Dan Howell (danisnotonfire)
And most recently by Chris Kendall (crabstickz) who made an uproar last week when he stated that he was quitting Youtube. However, he did not quit totally, just decided to get rid of all the thoughts and expectations that had started to weigh him down constantly.
I'm not even close to the situations they are describing, but some of the things they said really hit me.
Ok, so hardly anything I'm able to make at the moment will be as perfect and brilliant and flawless as i want it to be. And I'll always be my own worst judge... But if I don't do anything I've already lost!
The outcome of all of this was that I eventually decided to start slowly by trying to take up writhing and breath life into this blog again. It's not much compared to all the stuff I want to do... but it's still a step up from nothing at all. I also decided that I'm not going to limit myself and this blog to solely consist of perfect, well written, long and arranged posts about music, youtube, tv-shows or music. While I definitely will wright about all of those kinds of things, I also want to add some of my own thoughts and experiences and things happening in my life. Not at all because I, or my life, is particularly interesting .. Just because I occasionally need to share my thoughts to prevent my head from eventually blowing up or something.
Well, that was all I wanted to say for now. We all learn as long as we live, and I have to do a little more living to learn some more...
See you around the next corner :)