I Just Have To Dance

I have always loved to dance!

Ever since I was a little kid I've been constantly dancing around. Although, then I most frequently had to dance the "men's part" since my little sister was the ballerina/princess of the house. (I had very short hair back then, so if you didn't look closely I could probably pass as a boy!) I even tried to choreograph her and make up some sort of "real" dance, but unfortunately that always seemed to fail. We were a wired couple that did not always cooperate too well.

The sad part of this story is that I didn't know/realize/remember that I could actually start dancing in a group. As a hobby of sorts. I tried almost everything else though. Gymnastics and volleyball being some of it. But was too tall to be a gymnast and not passionate enough to join a volleyball team. Eventually I gave up all kinds of sports and started reading. That at least, I found that I was good at!

From seventh grade until ninth grade I suddenly started to read so much I ended up doing nothing else. Reading is a very good thing to do, and it surely raised my grades quite a bit, but it can also be too much. Happily I realized that before things came out of hand, and I started to hang out with friends and such. I never fully stopped reading though, I just read less than before. My "salvation" of sorts became my best friend and the sparkling interest for movies.

About two and a half year ago I suddenly told my dad I wanted to start dancing. I don't know how I got the Idea, but I can only guess the "Step Up"-films and "Save The Last Dance" had something to do with it. There was just one little problem... I started dancing HIP HOP!

Everybody that knows me can tell you I'm NOT a hip hop kind of girl. I've just not got "swag". But one always learns best from failure, which I also did eventually. It took a whole year though. Then I finally came with a really good idea: jazz-dance! Everybody in my class had danced longer than me, but I loved it, and soon I started to fit right in. Pointy toes, straight arms and legs, pirouettes... I suddenly realized this was me. My genre at last. I even joined in on the gigantic Christmas-show "Aladdin". Don't we look sparkly!

After a year I moved up from level one to a level two class (out of three). Everything suddenly became much harder, and I found I had to really work to get to the technique right, but the challenge was accepted, and I was really enjoying myself. And while taking my jazz-dance class, I also completed half a year of ballet (to get better technique), and almost half a year of contemporary.

Even though this sounds like a happy ending, I'm afraid I must say It's not... You see, I hurt my right-hand wrist doing a pirouette in our basement. The roof was too low. Don't ask how I managed to do it, but I shifted something inside my wrist, and suddenly it became sore and stiff. This all happened after Christmas last year, and ever since I've never been able to fully recover. My doctor told me it's sort of an on-and-off thing, and that it can mysteriously disappear or re-appear, and that it could take years to get rid of it.

In addition to my bad luck, I manage to injure my knee too! I'm not entirely sure how that happened either, but I think it just happened while walking in Paris this summer. If I was to describe it to you, I'd say it feels like it would do if you stood up straight and someone stood in front of you, put both hands on top of your left knee and gave it a hard nudge. Not a nudge from behind, couse that would just make your knee bend and you'd fall. But a nudge the other way. The way a knee is not ment to bend...

Today it's been almost seven months since I last danced. I miss it so much it's difficult to explain. Just the freedom and joy and grace it brings. The feeling of mastering something when I finally get a move right. If you are a dancer, you know what I'm talking about.

Yesterday I packed away my dance-shoes and my ballet-clothes. I decided to take half a year off dancing to fully recover from my various injuries, because I've recently moved to another city, and because I needed the time to study as it's my first year at the university. All these are good and justified reasons, but I'll still miss it. Can't wait until the day I can un-pack my dance-shoes again...

Choosing A Profession Part Two - How To Get There?

(To read part one of this mini-series about choosing a profession, head over here...)

Part two: How to get there?

So. I want to direct movies.
Or at least work in the industry somehow.

How?

Frankly, I've got no idea. There are no schools that can guarantee you work as a director. There's nothing you have to do, or not do for that matter. Some of the world's best directors are not even trained professionals... (Christopher Nolan - Batman and Inception) Others have truly worked themselves up from a nobody to become a respected director. A lot of them are schooled in the art of filmmaking, yes, but some say that the practical work experience was more important to them than anything else. With absolutely no right way to do it, where to start then?

I considered the Norwegian national film academy in Lillehammer, but gave up that thought learning the grades you had to have to even get in. Besides, most of the people there look like know-it-alls that either make serious documentaries or even more serious television programs. I feel like I'd be kind of stuck there.

Naturally I moved on to consider schools like UCLA and other schools in the Hollywood area. Then I'd be at the heart of it, right? It'd be perfect! Then I hit a big obstacle that suddenly materialized between me and the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. I must admit I had to cancel my brilliant plans when I learned how much money they'd all require. I'm a regular mortal! I'd like to avoid living waist deep in depth for the rest of my life.

It's got to be Norway, then.

This spring I applied to Bergen University. Originally for a Bachelor in Film- and Television-production. My grades are actually quite good, but unfortunately there are too many nerds in this country and only 20 of over 200 applicants would be offered a place in the program. I wasn't one of them.

Here I have to quote cinematographer Oliver Stapleton:

"I'm useless at everything but I'm willing to learn. Now this is much better. Modern schooling damages more people than it helps. This is because the grade system means that you are never first. And if you were, you wouldn't be reading this. [...] Many successful film people started life like this. Film People are kind of outlaws anyway: it's not a proper job."

Instead I got offered a place at the Bachelor in Media Science at Bergen University. I said yes. Basically this means I get to take all of the theoretical classes included in the other bachelor, but I don't get to actually make a film.

I was kind of disappointed, but fortunately this could also be a good thing. I will get to learn the history behind it all. The incredible power that lies within a film maker's hands. Why one film can effect millions of people all over the world. Why it connects with people watching it in their basement thousands of miles away. And by learning the secrets behind it all, I might get some sort of understanding of what it is people want to see, and why?

Conclusion: They (the guys at film- and television-production) get to learn how to make a movie, I get to learn why. I believe that's a decent way to start out. Who knows where I'll end up eventually?  I'll figure it out as I go along. That's what I usually do. That's me.

* To read Part One, head over here

The Life Long Quest Of Choosing A Profession

My excuse: been busy making my dreams come true...

Sounds cheesy, I know, but it so happens to be the truth.
How and what, you may wonder? Ok, I'll share it with you, just because you asked so nicely.

Part one: the WHAT

Growing up we're told that the world is crammed with possibilities. Later on I discovered that that fact isn't always a good fact. In fact it can be a very difficult fact indeed. You see, because of that endless ocean of opportunities stretching too far and wide for anyone to fathom, it's an nearly impossible task to choose one of them for yourself and your own life!

I've always envied those of my friends who always knew what they wanted to be. Who they wanted to be. What they wanted to do with their lives. They all seemed so calm. And most of them have managed to stay that way as well! I envy them because they have found their purpose.

Well, unfortunately this doesn't happen to everyone.

The majority wander from this to that and back again trying to make sense of their own abilities and skills, and most importantly, finding a profession that suits them. Luckily for them a lot of people eventually realice that they really like the thought of being a teacher, nurse, electrician, chef, constructor or carpenter or something just as useful. I know a lot of my friends have, and I applaud them and encourage them as best as I can. Nothing is better than wanting to become something useful and important! But here comes the matter of fact... Unfortunately, I'm not one of those lucky ones.

Growing up I, like a million other kids, went through different periodes where I wanted to be so many different things when I grew up. I was quite serious about becoming a teacher at the age of eight, and in 7th grade I taught myself to draw architectural drawings of houses and stuff and really wanted to be an architect. However, when I grew older I also became more and more unsure of what I wanted to do with my life.

When the time came that I had to pick what school I wanted to attend for my three years in what most of you would call Upper High, I had no idea. Several of my friends chose things like electrician studies, health- and social studies, and media- and communication studies. Since I had no clue at the time, I choose something called study specialization. Simply explained that's the only one of the choices that doesn't involve a specific profession. Instead it prepares you for further studies at the university. Enough about that! As it turns out, I should have chosen media and communication...

So, well through Upper High. What's next? That was indeed the big question that has been haunting

me for the last year. I felt like I was expected to have a plan. I had a plan... sort of, maybe, well, not really. I used the elimination technique. By methodically eliminating all the things I did not want to be, there honestly wasn't that much left. Throughout these past three years I've discovered that I not only have a passion for books, but also movies.

Why I love movies is another matter entirely, so that I have to answer in a separate post... But I discovered that I found the process of movie making very appealing, and that I wanted to be a part of this particular society. There was just one little problem.

I'm an 18-year-old girl from the distant country named Norway. What you need to understand is that in my entire country there are only 5 million people, so naturally the movie-industry isn't quite as extensive as one might have wanted it to... Thus, people here tend to look at the movies as an immature and foolish career to pursuit and a perfect way to waste your life.

Example: Last year a friend of mine asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I gave her the honest truth: “I want to be a movie director.” She laughed and told me that it sounded exciting. After a little while she turned quite serious and said: “So… what are you actually going to do?” Who could blame her? With only three people in the entire country living as directors, how could she know I meant what I said.

Honestly, I have questioned and doubted myself a million times. What if I'd missed out on some important skill you had to have? Who can be born to be directors? Will I be any good at it? Can I find any work? And most importantly, why do I want to do this? Like Oliver Stapleton once said: “No-one in their right mind would voluntarily go through the kind of hell that a Film Director has to go through.” Luckily I’ve been told repeatedly I’m not in my right mind, so I guess I’ll be perfect then?

* To read part two of this mini-series about choosing a profession, head over here.
** Part two is all about how to actually make my dream come true...